Since I've been outed I thought I'd say a word or 600 on my naming convention and the reasons behind it. I've talked to a few people over my time in WOW about the names they choose, some people have a naming convention which they stick to, others just chose whatever takes their fancy at the time, others need to be beaten to death with the inspiration stick; I've seen some people take inspiration from names from their favourite characters in books or myth, others chose names that are vaguely amusing, Ezzagood the shaman is one that stands out in my mind (don't make me explain why) and Akdov, when asked about his name, the reply came back "because it spells Vodka backwards". Genius. Others, struggled for inspiration upon first logging into the game, and clearly looked around the room they were sat in for inspiration; I give you Bookshelf, Lampshade and Window, some didn't even make it past where they were sitting, Keyboard, Mouse, Monitor, Computer and CPU! Dear god people!?!?!! And then there's the worst of the lot, the type of people who log on and think I'm a mage, I'm I gnome, I KNOW! MAGEGNOME!! Idiots. Anyways, last week Leafshine made a post titled "Oh! Noes! Drama Llama Loose in Blogosphere!" which prompted a flurry of tweets between us which can basically be summarised as me accusing him of false advertising and demanding the inclusion of more llama's in his post. At this point you're probably thinking "he's lost the plot, this has nothing to do with naming conventions" but this was actually the inspiration for this post, in a round-about sort of way. Here's why:
I have a bit of an admiration for llamas. Actually it's not just llama's, it's any kind of camelid, be it camels (one hump or two), llamas, alpaca, vicunas or guanacos, probably more than healthy admiration, possibly more of a fixation. This fixation with camelids came, I think, from a drink fuelled conversation after a particularly messy jaunt to the local while I was on a year's placement from uni, I can't remember exactly what the conversation was about (I was quite drunk, that happens…) but the end result was we (me and my then-housemate) decided that we liked alpacas. A lot. This quickly turned into the fixation with all things camelid, I don't know why, the reason is not important, it just did.
So it all first started on some online game or other, probably Counter Strike or Unreal Tournament or some such, where you have to choose a name for yourself. A simple 'Alpaca' seemed a little dull, it doesn't quite breed the amount of fear and awe I was looking for in the opposition reading my name at the bottom of the kills board. A bit of thinking, and with an obvious constraints which these games tend to impose on the length of your name, and Mightyalapca is born! Mighty stayed with me through a whole host of games on PC and xbox, until I came to WOW, my first mage was created and tradition was maintained, he was called Mightyalpaca. Now again my regular reader will notice, if you've been paying attention, that I no longer play a mage as my main; I quickly migrated to a priest. So what do I do? I can't use Mightyalpaca again. It's got to be something camelid related, do I go for a different camelid, or stick with alpacas? Choices choices. I eventually decided on llama as the one, not an easy choice let me tell you. And then it came to the decision of what to put before (or indeed after) the llama whilst staying within WOWs name length limit. After literally minutes of soul searching, I fixed on mystic, it was a good looking name, and given I was rolling a priest, mystic seemed to fit. Since then my naming convention has stuck with this convention (with one or two exceptions). Chose a camelid, choose a suitable adjunct, the sillier the better, job done. I've had Eminentcamel, my warrior, Divinellama my new druid, Dramallama the DK, Greatguanacco the rogue, Holyhumps, the paladin (a slight move away from the naming rulebook I grant you, but a subtle reference to Camelids, I like subtle), Camelkazi my shaman, Cameltoes the hunter and Splendid the warlock. That's right Splendid, my one slip up, this guy was named thus back in my GM days when I couldn't go 5 minutes without being whispered by some muppet demanding a guild invite who thought he was too good to read the application rules on the forum or one of the raiders asking what their DKP score was etc. etc. I used him as an anonymous way of still playing the game as my normal names tended to give the game away, I should really get round to renaming him to something suitably silly sometime.
And there you have it, my naming convention, but that's not quite it… back in the day when we first created the guild, some idiot left me in charge of collecting signatures for the charter, as no one voiced an opinion on the guild name, and there was no one online to ask at the time, the Marauding Camelids were created, and are still going strong six years later! Incidentally I like to think the Ramkahen camel mounts were created solely in recognition of my naming convention, clearly they weren't, but I like to think they were…
I've spent a fair bit of time in Dungeon Finder over the past two months, usually with a guildie or two by my side, but sometimes on my own, I've met a number of interesting personalities on the way. One of the drawbacks with the dungeon finder, in my view, is it doesn't seem to group you with people from your server as often as it should which reduces the chance meetings of people who you are likely to get to know better through sticking them on your friends list and playing with them in the future. I've met two people thus far from other realms who I've added under the real id system, the first one a new player which I wrote about here and a recent altoholic who I got chatting to over the course of several instances which I mentioned in a post more recently. I added the priest because she was new to the game and needed some guidance, I'd spent a while talking her through the basics and said I was more than happy to help her again if she had questions, the friendly tank I added under the assumption that we could group together again. It seems on the later assumption I was much mistaken, come on blizzard, sort it out! Anyways, I digress (again? Would you believe it…), I was going to talk about the types of people I've come across.
Now I always try and be, at the very least, polite and tolerant of other players I come across in dungeon finder, peoples personas will change depending on the day they're having, or the way the group is going;I'd like to hope that I give people a fair crack at the whip. As a rule, I always say hi as I join a group, I tend to make the occasional joke, usually aimed at my own inadequacy to lighten the mood, especially if people seem to be getting frustrated at a roadblock, and if I think I've screwed up, I'll always admit it. I won't reach for the vote kick button too readily, with one exception, if a player is abusive to another party member which in my view is over the top, homophobic, racist or otherwise out of line. So these are my categories of the different types I've met so far:
Quietly Competent
Doesn't say much, just gets on with things, usually DPS or Healing types (Tanks tend to need to be a bit more gobby), they'll just get on with doing their job pretty well. The Quietly Competent player might just squeeze a "hi guys" out at the start of the instance, and possibly a "thanks for all the fish" at the end, but that'll be all you get. They normally have pretty decent gear, either from raiding or rep and dungeon drops. I imagine the Quietly Competents have an accomplished social life and a massively social circle in WOW thus don't need to talk too much in the PUGs, then again they never tell me anything, so I just don't know. Several QC's in a PUG usually make for a quick and uneventful run, but they don't mix too well with players who need a bit of guidance.
Talkative Types
Greet everyone with a hearty hello at the start of every instance, they are happy regale you with stories of their last instance, make sure everyone knows what to do on the next boss, or just generally talk about the price of fish. Can sometimes become a little distracted by the conversation and not notice the patrol mob who's just tapped them on the shoulder and is waiting patiently for them to shut up so he can slap them down into a bloody pool. TT's will often go quiet for what seems like seconds, at which point they're either talking in their guild channel, whispering multiple other friends, or dead.
Assertive leader
This guy knows his stuff; he's been around the block and got the t-shirt, twice. He knows everything there is to know about the boss you're about to fight and will make sure you four slackers don't mess it up for him. He'll generally courteous to other players and may join in with the talkative types on the trash, will get frustrated easily at Complete Noobs (see below).
Abusive Idiot
You all know the type, the Abusive Idiot is that guy who uses lots of acronyms, like OMFG, WFT, etc. (not "etc." that's an acronym I'm using to indicate there are more… oh you know what I mean), blames everyone else in the party for everything which has gone wrong in their life and is going to make damn sure you know it's all your fault. The Abusive Idiot, AKA CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK will often try to take the guise of an Assertive Leader, but often not have the first clue what he's talking about, occasionally he will know what he's talking about and just be a prick. He's not afraid to use the leave party button, SO YOU BETTER DO AS HE SAYS, right? Or save him the effort and kick him yourself. The idiot is generally a 15 year old schoolboy who hasn't seen daylight for 10 days and will never experience the pleasures of the opposite sex without first parting with cash, possibly in Amsterdam.
Complete Noob
The complete Noob really shouldn't be here! They're not good enough to be in heroics, and will never be, they're incapable of learning how to play the game and can't understand why they keep being kicked. Complete Noobs shouldn't be mistaken for people who are new to the game and still learning, they are complete basket cases, no hopers, useless. It's possible that your Complete Noob has just parted with their hard earned cash on a popular auction site, the very fact that they've managed to get to level 85 any other way is too scary to contemplate. The Complete Noob is a conspicuous type, generally given away by the fact that they've caused two wipes before you've buffed up, have a spec that looks like your three year old niece chose it for them and wouldn't know what reforging was if it jumped up and bit them on the arse. Noobs will often be quite bitter about the fact that they keep being kicked, and may try to conceal their nubidity (it's a word, I just made it up) by turning into an Abusive Idiot.
Better Than You
The Better Than You is clearly the most gifted player who has ever played WOW, and doesn't he know it. He's played WOW 27 hours a day since the Beta of Vanilla WOW was released, he knows every facet of the game and should clearly be placed on a pedicle by is fellow players. The better than you is at the pinnacle of his prowess and will whisper each member of the party in turn calling them noobs and asking them why they've made such silly choices with their spec, gear choice, enchantments and choice of tabard, despite not having the faintest idea about your class. BTYs have the propensity to quickly turn into and Abusive Idiot and flee the group should anyone dare to step out of line and die.
Happy to Help
Happy to helps are the type that will check you know what you're doing if you seem to be struggling, are generally laid back and unassuming, and are generally a bit more tolerant than most. They are the type who are competent with their class, and remember what it was like to be learning the ropes so are more than happy to offer their advice. This can lead to the Better Than You types getting quite irritated, "how dare you tell me what to do? I'm INVINCIBLE!!!11". HtHs will often offer advice to the party, or where there are Quick Learners in the party take it to whisper and even offer more general advice for classes they know in detail.
Quick Learner
The quick learner is a recent dinger at 85, has gone to the effort of getting some decent pre-heroic gear but doesn't quite know every fight but is prepared to ask. They might take a little more time through the instances than experienced players, but you'll know that they're a good player just waiting to turn into a butterfly. QLs are extremely thankful of a Happy to Help, and are particularly despised by the Abusive Idiots and Better Than You's of the world. They will one day become a Happy to Help or Assertive Leader themselves.
Mr Impatient & Short on Time's
Mr Impatient insists everything be done at the speed of light, he's living in the AOE filled past and doesn't agree with crowd control. He'll often spam "GO", "why are we waiting" and various other gems in party chat. He's not averse to ninja pulling just to help the tank along if things are going too slowly for his liking. Mr Inpatient's good friend, Short on Time is in the instance to do his daily, or get specific loot, he really hasn't got time to finish the instance for whatever reason (usually his mum won't let him play past 8.30) so will try and hurry the party along and is not afraid of logging out without a word of warning should the loot he want drops or he's had enough. Neither of these two characters get on with Quick Learners, Happy to Helps or Complete Noob's and will often imitate and Assertive Leader in order to get things done but invariably revert to becoming an Abusive Idiot.
Sneaky Cheat
The Sneaky Cheat is too good for the ilvl restrictions and has conned the Dungeon Finder by sticking as many rep reward items in his inventory as he can come across, even though he's a warlock and can't wear plate. He's donned in greens primarily, with the occasional blue if you're lucky. The SC has several other characters at 85 and can't be arsed grinding gear for this one, don't let his experience of other characters fool you, he's no more likely to know the strategy for the current boss as you neighbours pet dog.
Clique Group
Whilst not technically a person, the Clique Group is worthy of a mention. You've all been there, you join a PUG and three or four of the other players are from the same server and usually the same guild. The CG don't have enough friends to make a full group, so they've scraped the barrel that comes in the shape of Dungeon Finder and come out with you and your sorry excuse for an existence. They tend to be less forgiving than most groups, will whisper nasty things about you behind your back, and carry on talking on first name terms in party chat with each other as if you weren't there. It's important to note that not all groups of this make up are clique, just some of them, and it's impossible to tell before it's too late, grit your teeth, get on with it and get out as soon as possible.
A slight adaptation of a tongue in cheek guide to getting a raid invite which I wrote in conjunction with a few officers a few years ago for our guild website back in Vanilla WOWWhat to do if you don't get an invite straight away
Go crazy and moan in the guild channel. CAPITALS ARE YOUR FRIEND they get you noticed quicker, whilst you're at it Google 'raid target icons' and add at least three at he beginning and the end of everything you say, no one else in your guild have ever thought of this and will instantly adore you for your ingenuity.
If your name appears in the guild channel often enough no one will forget your name, so you will be placed top of the waiting list. Remember, he who moans most gets his own way. People won't mess with you either so it's well worth doing anyway. Try it you'll feel great! Ensure your bitches/moans are circular so you don't get some twat giving you a definitive answer.
Better still (pro tip) bitch in the general channel, a sure fire way to gain influence, friends and popularity.
When you spam the '1 (general) channel' they will find it difficult to read raid instructions and as a result will probably die (haha). You can then blame it on them not having your UBER skills available to kill the boss. Genius! Also, lots of other people can see this too, so your notoriety will escalate along with your guild. Wait for the flood of invites from other/better guilds.
When you get an invite
Leave you character as far away from the instance as possible, make sure you're questing / herb gathering / clearing your nasal cavity in the trade channel in Org with all the other UBER players, that you're also in a party; this will make sure that the raid leader understands how in demand you are and that he was mistaken to bench you in the first place.
The most important thing I to ,ake all the other bastards wait for YOU! You are far more important than them. Ensure they know who it is they are waiting for – plebs. Tell them it's their fault for not inviting you at the beginning – that'll teach em.
When you are in the raid instance
Whisper the 'Raid Organisers' AT LEAST every 10 seconds – just to remind him how good you are, and anyway, what else will he have to keep him occupied if you don't speak to him?
This ensures they won't forget you and anyway they are lonely, sad virgins and need a chat. Say boobs a lot and swear, it titillates them.
Try and influence the allocation of DKP and don't read the website guidance on how DKP is allocated.
Always try your best to mess up the opposition (other players of your class). When they get disconnected, spam the raid channel that they have left early. Fools! Also, ask how much DKP you have every minute or so, as the Raid Organisers may give you a few more points just to keep you happy. If your DKP is the highest – shove it in everyone's face – ha! If it's lower – see bitching (top).
Spam the emotes
Spam raid target icons
Don't let them forget your there!
When you win an Epic Item
Spam your Epics to other Guildies especially those of the same class.
Others will admire you immensely for doing this. Privately they will think you are far superior to them and will come to the conclusion that you should be treated with the utmost respect and in future raids are bound to insist to the raid leader that you are taken over them.
